“If you love me, keep my commandments…” (NKJV)
“I love you” has become something people say often and to many people in their lives. It has become something we say when we say “goodbye” or at the end of a telephone call – a quick “love you”! It may be easier to say “love you” because leaving the “I” out makes it more casual, less serious, less of a commitment. “Love you”, and “I love you” are two very different things. “I love you”, carries not just the affection but also a sense of commitment and connection. Have you ever asked yourself what love means? Why is it easy to say “love you” to multiple people through the day but there are only a select few people that you can say “I love you” to? Are there different kinds of love? Yes! We see it in John 21, when Jesus met his disciples by the sea, after his resurrection. He asked Peter “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” Do you “agape” Me? Do you love Me unconditionally, with a committed and undying love? And Peter replied “yes I love You” with an affectionate, brotherly love (“phileo”). Jesus asks him the same question twice and gets the same answer. He then asks Peter “Do you love (phileo) Me? And Peter replies “Yes I love (agape) You”.
Why does Jesus ask Peter this question, and what does it even mean to love someone? What does it mean to love your spouse, your children, your friend? Is love just a feeling? Or is love a responsibility? While we know from the Word of God that love is a product of life in the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5) Romans 13:8 tells us that love is a debt we owe. This means that love is a duty, a commitment, a contract. It is something we express and live; it is something we are meant to freely give, a promise to fulfill .
Each time Peter responded to Jesus with “I love You”, Jesus came back to him with a request, a responsibility. The first time, it was “feed My lambs”; the second time it was “tend My sheep”; the third time it was “feed My sheep”. Jesus asks Peter “Do you love me?” Then when he says “yes”, He says (paraphrased by me) “Ok then, here’s what I want you to do. Nurture and nourish the ones who belong to me – the babes and also the mature ones who follow me.” The declaration of love has to be backed up by action, and deep love between people is about commitment and covenant. It is about the giving of oneself, laying down one’s life – as our King did for us. When Jesus asked Peter for the third time if he loved Him, Peter said “Lord You know all things; You know that I love you.” Because love is not just about the emotion or the expression of it, Jesus went on to tell him not just what was expected of him in terms of “feeding the sheep”, but also what it would cost him. Years later, Peter suffered a painful martyr’s death, crucified in Rome by Emperor Nero during a widescale persecution of Christians around 65 AD. Peter lived his love for Jesus to the end; he paid a price.
Love is a gift we give and receive. We all experience this gift in different ways, but here’s my question for you today: What does love mean to you? And if you say “I love you” to someone in your life, what is backing your words? What is the weight of action behind those words? Are you putting your money where your mouth is? Next question: What does loving God mean to you? Here’s what Jesus said to His disciples: “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” (John 15:13, NKJV). Love requires action; love requires a response. Love has to inspire a level of commitment. The Old Testament system of justice was about an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth; ie, you pay for what you take, and you pay with your life. If a punishment based system could require the restoration of a life for a life, how much more would the grace of God enable my love for (His) Love, my life for His. How much more are we empowered to see and receive the outrageous love of God, and to respond in kind – by laying down our lives as friends of Jesus. We begin to live for Him, live by Him, live in Him, so that when He says “if you love Me, obey my commandments”, it feels like the most natural thing – to follow His ways because we are following His heart. It feels like no cost is too high to pay, when it comes to loving and expressing our love for our King. Jesus never asks us to do something He hasn’t given us the capacity to do or empowered us to achieve. When He says “if you love Me, obey my commands”, He empowers our hearts to align with His, and He gives us the ability to follow and obey. It’s a win/win deal!
So I come back to the question Jesus asked Peter, and asks us daily through the situations of our lives: “My beloved one, do you love Me?” And if the answer is “yes” then what is He calling me to do? How do I express and live out that love in every decision I am faced with, in every choice, and opportunity, in relationships, in work and play? Jesus said to Peter “tend my sheep”, “feed my lambs”, “feed my sheep”. What looks like love to Jesus? Obeying His commands, His Word (John 14:15) and being a blessing to His sheep – His church. Jesus came to set us free – free from a small and limited “me” centered, oppressed, defeated life. He came to free us into a world of limitless heavenly possibilities which we enter through Him, through death – death of self. He is the Way, the Door, and as I fully enter in, the old “me” ceases to be, and I begin to live anew, a resurrected, empowered, transforming new creature, in love, in trust, and following Him. “If you love Me, keep My commandments….”
Minoli Haththotuwa, 26 February 2026